The Intervention
by princessofd
Summary: The Akatsuki and the Espada have joined forces and to become the most epically awesome and evil villains in history, Pain and Aizen have decided that they need to be more serious and respectable. Because most of them are not cough*Tobi*cough


A/N- Ok this is my first fanfic... I know it's fairly rubbish but please don't flame me! Critisism is welcome as long as it's constructive. :P

I (unfortunatly) do not own either Bleach or Naruto. They belong to the awesome Tite Kubo and Masashi Kishimoto.

The Intervention

The majority of the Akatsuki and the Espada sat on the oversized couch Lord Aizen owned. The two antagonistic organizations, after constantly getting their asses kicked, had decided to form one large group to sweep immense terror over both the Soul Society and the Naruto Realm. Unfortunately, before they can carry out their epically awesome evil plan, they must smooth over any…er problem members of the group and transform them into serious and respectable villains. To do this, Pain suggested a series of interventions.

Grimmjow and Hidan walked suspiciously towards the room which their fellow villains currently occupied.

"What the fuck do you think they're doing?" The slightly insane Jashinist asked the blue-haired arrancar beside him. Grimmjow shrugged.

"Not a bloody clue."

Hidan cautiously opened the massive white door and stared in horror at what could be seen in front of him. Grimmjow shoved him out of the way.

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCKING HELL IS THIS SHIT?" They yelled in perfect unison. On the white table in front of the white sofa, where all their comrades where seated, was a cylindrical jar. On the jar, written in bold type, was the most horrific words in existence… Swear Jar!

Ulquiorra looked at the pair in annoyance.

"It has come to our attention that your foul mouths are distracting your fellow comrades whilst fighting. This could possibly pose as a serious threat to our success in reaching the ultimate epically awesome evil plan." He explained in monotone.

Grimmjow started towards him but Kakuzu got up to stop the furious sexta.

"KAKUZU YOU TRAITOR!" Hidan howled in anger. Grimmjow broke free of Kakuzu and hissed, very feline like, at the rest of the Espada.

"We won't fucking do this! You guys realise that right?" He snarled. Hidan nodded in agreement, pulling his scythe from his back.

"Swearing is my entire personality! I'm fucking nothing without swearing! I'll cut you down you pieces of shit!" He hollered, charging at the Akatsuki, aiming for Sasori, who was smirking in amusement.

Grimmjow pulled Pantera from his waistband and pointed it in the direction of the bored looking cuatre.

Just as the two angered badass idiots where about too strike, two loud and powerful voices rang from the ceiling.

The group looked up in surprise as Aizen and Pain descended from the sky.

"Enough, my dear Espada." Aizen shouted dramatically as the pair made their melodramatic entrance. Pain glared at Hidan, using his Rinnegan as unconcealed threat for him to shut up.

The unlucky duo withdrew their weapons reluctantly. Grimmjow and Hidan walked slowly towards the couch. Grimmjow knocked the Swear Jar on the floor childishly.

"Hidan." Pain announced calmly. "If you do not use this swear jar, I will order Itatchi to burn all your 'I Heart Jashin-Sama' T-shirts."

Hidan sank to his knees.

"No… You can't do that Pain.. I'll fucking KILL you!" He shouted. Pain held up a t-shirt and handed it to a confused looking Itatchi.

By now the rest of the Akatsuki where laughing their heads off, except Itatchi who was (obviously) blind and couldn't see the hilarious display.

"Pay the jar £100, Hidan." Pain ordered. Hidan chucked the money on the floor and stormed out probably looking for something to sacrifice, Kakuzu let out a squeal of terror, as he scrambled to pick the wondrous pieces of paper up.

Meanwhile, Grimmjow was getting chewed out by Aizen.

"Grimmjow." He spoke grandly. " If you refuse to use the swear jar, I will get Ulquiorra to put your kitty-nibbles in the bin."

"Like trash." Ulquiorra added. Grimmjow let out a yowl. The Espada where tiring of his façade and glared at him angrily.

"Your bloody joking!" Grimmjow moaned. Kakuzu grabbed the Swear Jar and shoved it in Grimmjow's pained face.

"£100. Pay. Now. MONEY!" Kakuzu said firmly. Grimmjow carefully put the money in the jar and, following Hidan's lead, stomped out of the room.

The Akatsuki had stopped laughing and, with the Espada, got up to leave. Kakuzu remained holding the Swear Jar, now filled with money, like it was a baby and murmuring what sounded suspiciously like "_My precious…" _


End file.
